People often say that they were "too afraid to fall in love." It means, their fears make them aware all the things that might go wrong. All the hurts they went trough before. They don’t want to be hurt, something in the past is inhabiting them from truly allowing someone to touch their heart. To love fully and completely is the ultimate bliss we can have in life. If someone falls head over heels for another and they seem like they’re holding back with their emotions, look at whatever may have happened in their past. It may require greater patience and understanding to win their love and confidence, but if its right, it will be worth the wait.
To love fully you have to plunge in entirely at the risk of failure and pain. To me it means the person thinks love makes you vulnerable. I disagree with that attitude. In my experience, some relationships fail, not because the people don’t love each other, but because they are too afraid to allow themselves to be vulnerable. To me, there’s a difference. Which is truly the hardest part. You have to be ready to take a plunge in which you can never forsee the future, it’s almost compared to a leap faith you must place your trust in this person who could shatter you from deep within.
It is a very scary transition period, when you drag yourself out your comfort zones and you don’t know if it means as much to the person you love. The pain of getting hurt is very intense when it happens. People don’t want that pain again and may put up the strongest walls to defend themselves. Or maybe we expect too much of a fairy tale.
Life ain’t simple. Some people are addicted to love, some are scared that will be left alone, some are scared to let anyone so close to their soul that they will become vulnerable. Hurt is part of life, just some people got hurt too much, some too early. Maybe we haven’t lived and loved if we’ve never had our hearts badly broken. It is an agony, but in some strange way, makes you more aware of how life is.
The word love is like the word stuff. It only has meaning in the context of a specific situation. Generally though, to love someone is to invest time, money, energy, into the relationship. And like any investment it should not be taken lightly. Great love is not created without willingness to take risks. It is living on the razor’s edge. Some of us never rise to the challenge. Those who did it, understand love’s worth. Respect, trust, communication, compromise / sacrifice … these are the corner stones of real love.
We are scared because we do not know the essence of love. Love is admiration of the greatness of another human being. Its celebration is the celebration of great deeds done during the days. Most of us celebrate obligation or boredom; a man marries so that someone can cook for him, a woman marries so that someone can earn for him.
Individuals who laugh at the concept of love or people who try to rationalize it, are people who may have been hurt as well. And obviously they fear that which they don’t understand, so they make futile attempts at ridiculing it. What truly sad lives must they lead living in fear. We must dare to live … dare to be intelligently vulnerable!
The thing is, you cannot choose your love. If trusting people around you is a stupid choice, you can never truly let go of your feelings and love in full. The best advice would be--search for a social group where you and your resources are highly valued. That way people will look after you and make sure that you always have the best things in you life--the best friends and the best partner.
Ultimately, even people who are truly hurt need companionship. We’re walking contradictions, some more than others. Getting over fear and rejection is maybe the most important step to achieving what I would call "happiness" in the conventional sense.
However, I am a risky fucker and I don’t really care if I get hurt. The more hurt the stronger I get. Being hurt is part of life and sometimes it feels so damn good to be human.