What about how love tends to cause irrational decisions, which shorten the life expectancy? To amputate so many humane emotions just to preserve life is pretty wicked, but I do it. I think love is a distraction from logical reasoning, which leads to more mistakes, and some mistakes result in death.
Love is like a drug. Indeed. I concur. It must be taken in moderation, but there are many fools who overdose on it, just because they think it's "natural." How do you avoid "overdosing" a feeling which most people are not even aware of? When someone hears something negative about love they want to crucified you. I haven't configured a proper dose, so I prefer to feel as fair amount of love as possible, just to be safe.
The only thing which can replace a feeling is another feeling, the stronger one. According to Spinoza. And that would explain why there is hate in relationship. To feel "as little love as possible" should be impossible. I think everyone who gets rejected feels some hatred, but to replace? You know yourself best. I know hate. It is the opposite of love.
I find that love has the potential be pathological in the sense of mental disease. Not all love is destructive to the psychology, but some people take love to the level of obsession. Love might be a way to escape loneliness in the long run, but I must take the risk of being alone to preserve my life. I preserve my life by making as few mistakes as possible, and love often leads to mistakes when somebody puts their heart before logic.
I do believe that love has been overrated because that feeling is "sacred" in general. No one loves, or like anybody, nor hates everyone. The general opinion as I have noticed is stated somewhat "I don't hate anybody, but I don't like everybody." Some people claim to love everybody. This might be wearing their heart on their sleeve. Those who claim to love each and everyone on this planet has something wrong in estimating other peoples evil sides. This world is more suitable to hate than love. But I do respect some certain claims as truth. I believe if you're not taking others' feelings into consideration, why should they consider yours?
If you can respect, but you can't love. If you can respect, but you can't empathize, or sympathize. Then you could be classified as psychopath or sociopath, because they lack, what you say you lack. And love is a negative feeling because it depends on the reflection of the other's part. We often make a conclusion, "If they don't feel for you in the same way, it's not love."
A psychopath is born with this type of brain, and a sociopath has a brain damaged to the extent it functions this way. I suspect that you was born with apathy toward others, according to childhood memories of being a nuisance to raise. Just as well, you have damaged your brain quite a bit with drugs, and alcohol. You may have been born this way, but I know, you made it worse. You've learned to totally abolish your humane ways. You used to get in trouble a lot eventually.
However, just because I love my mom doesn't mean I'm going to live my life according to her rules. We still have a sense of self. Self-differentiation is what is important here; being able to love but not consumed by it where it controls your life.
Love is just chemicals. Addiction to another person's chemicals that interact with our chemicals. Just chemicals, but chemicals do amazing things. Dopamine, sex and lust, released during orgasm and when you're drunk. Oxytocin, love poison, it makes you desire intimacy, romance, long term relationship.
If everyone reacted the same to love we'd all off ourselves or we'd all be content and happy that we got to love someone. That's why you are you and you can have a different reaction to love and your feelings. I would never do something irrational for love that some people do and it works out for them. Sometimes it doesn't. I've seen it go both ways. Love can be dangerous, that's why you have brain. Use it, but keep trying to love as much as you can. If it doesn't work out, at least you had the balls to love someone else.
I don't know if it's love itself that causes people to do crazy things. I think it's when love is taken away that make people do crazy things. Being in love is like a drug, take that drug away and people get depressed, and do things they regret. You can be afraid to love, but I doubt it is love that you fear. It is the fact that it can be taken away that causes pain and irrational thoughts.
Marilyn Manson said, "Not only are love and hate such closely related emotions, but it's a lot easier to hate someone you've cared about than someone you never have." Love is a heart's desire to serve someone special to you. Love is not selfish, it's selfless. Putting your life first is not love, I would give up my life to the people I love; as a mother who passed through the flames to save her child. Whats the point of being happy while someone is not?
When people get hurt they learn to hate,when people hurt others they get hated and get racked with guilt. But knowing what hate is and pain, these allow people to grow, and how you grow is entirely up to you. How can love shorten life expectancy, if anything love promotes is personal growth?
I fully disagree that love causes death or shortened life expectancy. Hate, loneliness, and isolation causes far more death. If one has a healthy love for themselves and for others, it is life-giving for themselves and for others. If the love is not healthy, then you shouldn't be calling it love to begin with. Love does not deserve defamation because people don't understand it or use it properly.
Love is an emotion and insanity is an uncontrolled mental disorder. If love is an uncontrollable feeling and causes you to harm yourself or to obsess to the point of losing work then it is just an expression of a mental disorder. Sure you see it as love today but next week it could be terror just as easily.